Sticky, Gooey Love

I never thought I'd be where I am right now.  Who does?  Life surprises us, jilts us, keeps us on our toes, and every other saying you could think of.  So I never thought I'd be here.  Where is here? Now what?

Here I am, 43, a mother of 4, mother in law and step grandmother. It is amazing how life goes; how life proceeds.  What did I think life would be? Where did I think I would be?  I am full of questions.

I am a mom, which I find to be the greatest gift, job and learning experience I could ever ask for.  Four beautiful children, each one different in their own ways. It reminds me of the end of The Breakfast Club, how one's a jock, one's a prom queen, and so on.  How could I even put in one word my thought about each child.

I know I have one I would simply refer to as "the gentleman." I stand in awe when it comes to his passion, compassion and coolness.  Relaxed and gentle just at the right times. When you hold your infant for the first few weeks, and wonder all the things your child will do and be...flash forward to today, over 20 years later.  And he is better than I wondered, imagined, hoped for in life.  And handsome, so handsome, but smart and witty as well.

My "wise, old soul."  Ah, just his presence felt majestic to me.  He could command a room simply by walking into it.  The gift of wisdom and the ability to converse with anyone about anything I admire in life.  Never afraid of speaking his mind and his truths.  And within, a compassionate, understanding soul which will never leave my heart.  To big to go under the radar.

The beautiful "queen bee."  Such a joyous time learning the ways of raising and loving a daughter.  The beauty in her eyes, her smile, can melt any heart in a matter of moments.  Such poise and grace seen from simply sitting and sharing a cup of tea, to the times when she is standing for battle on the field.  Her kindness makes her beauty all the more evident.  The beauty cannot be denied, and it is enhanced by her love for those who matter most.

My biggest surprise and "California princess" never ceases to amaze me in life. Those gorgeous, hazel eyes with hints of brown, looking into my heart to find the perfect words to say.  The fireball she is explodes wisdom and curiosity. But just as easily, calms to provide a soothing hug, overflowing with love. She never fails to amaze me with her smarts and kindness.  And her keen attention to detail for loving us.

I never expected to be here, 43, mother still madly in love with her children.  I felt selfish and self absorbed in my younger years.  And now I would give my everything, my all, just to see them smile.  Just to see their eyes light up. To hear a laughter from love so sweet, it feels sticky and gooey.  

That's what being a mother means to me.  A constant surrounding of dripping, fluffy, sticky, gooey love between me and my angels.  Love never ending, with arms strong and large enough to hug us all, even during out hardest times.  Our strength and love are challenged. But our love seems to always prevail!